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3 min read

In an age where we’re constantly bombarded with mixed media and messaging about what a relationship should look like, people are unsatisfied in love; people don’t know how to make relationships work - the old paradigm is breaking down.

And this breaking down is changing what a 21st Century relationship looks like...

What is a 21st Century relationship?

It's a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth, both as individuals, and as a couple.

When a couple agree that their union is about growth, that union becomes an evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could alone.

Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfilment arise as a result.

And what growth are we talking about? We’re talking physical, mental, emotional and spiritual growth.

So are you are a 21st Century couple?

Here are 4 telltale signs that you are…

  1. The 21st Century couple is more committed to the experience of growth than they are to making the relationship “work”.

Under the old paradigm, you might have wanted your partner to act in a certain way, and in turn you repressed parts of yourself to please them.

If you have expectations are that aren’t being met, and are repressing your natural way of being to please your partner, the relationship will, inevitably, start feeling feeling like a prison that you want to break out of.

But the truth is: you’ve imprisoned yourself.

On the other hand, the 21st Century couple values growth more than anything else because they know that this is the key to keeping the relationship fresh and alive – and the love between the couple will too.

Even though it may be unsettling, the conscious couple is willing to strive towards growth, even at the risk of out-growing the relationship.

  1. In a 21st Century couple, each partner staunchly owns their own s#*t

We all have wounds from the past, and we know that these wounds will inevitably be triggered, especially in a relationship - abandonment, feeling trapped, undervalued, or any number of other programmed reactions that may arise when we bond closely with another person.

Each partner is willing to analyse their past issues in relationships because they know that by addressing them, those dysfunctional patterns can be dissolved and they can in turn ensure their new relationship evolves into a healthier one.

  1. In a 21st Century relationship, ALL feelings are natural and welcome

In a conscious relationship, you have permission to feel how you feel, and you also have permission to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner.

Now of course this may be easier said than done - but it’s also one of the most transformative and healing things that couples can experience.

Being brutally honest, and allowing your partner to be the same, may be an incredibly scary prospect, and it may also trigger unwelcome feelings that you may not have had a chance to dissolve– but it’s authentic as fuck and leads to feeling like your partner really knows you, sees you, and truly understands you: a combination that will really enhance your love!

Changing ourselves and/or trying to change those we love actually stifles connection – under the old paradigm, partners did this to ensure their significant other didn’t stop loving them.

But in reality, radical honesty leads to a far deeper connection as noted above.

  1. For a 21st Century couple, their relationship is a safe place to practice love

Sometimes we treat love like it’s a destination, searching for that blissful feeling all the time; and when it’s not there, we become dissatisfied.

Instead, we should be approaching love like it’s a journey and an exploration – a practice of being present, surrendering, forgiving, and trusting.

It’s about accepting everything that appears in your relationship and asking yourself “If I’m going to embody love, what would I do here?”

The answers will always surprise you, and will lead to unimaginable personal growth and experience.

So ARE YOU are a 21st Century couple?

Comment below with your thoughts!


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